The common notion that it takes a village to raise a child is a concept we as parents likely have explored. However, in modern society "the village" includes teachers, caregivers, neighbors, digital entertainment, friends, coaches and dance instructors, and the internet. Everything your child experiences affects the choices they make and what kind of adult they will be. The question is: Do you really want the entertainment industry and internet content to raise your kids? Likely your answer is no. So what can you do?
First, let go of any past guilt you may feel about perhaps letting your child watch a few extra cartoons on Saturday mornings while you enjoy some much-needed sleep. Let go of things that are out of your control such as the fact that you need to work full time to support your family. Implementing change may be difficult since your children will not forget your past mistakes. Just allow them to eat apple pie for dinner once and see how much ground you lose when attempting to get them to eat a healthy dinner. Kids remember everything. If your children are still young, you are lucky. It is much easier to teach a 6-year-old how to learn to use the internet safely than reeling in an unruly 15-year-old. Nevertheless, you will see positive results through steady, patient and logical communication.
Baby Browsers: When should I start teaching my kids about internet safety?
We may remember a time when we had to go the library to research a topic or when we had to watch MTV for hours to watch a music video that we really wanted to see. However, this generation has never known a day without the internet or mobile phones. Therefore, as soon as your child expresses interest in going online you need to be there to help them. If you teach kids when they're young how to use the internet safely, they will likely make better decisions when they're older and have more access to the internet independent of your control. It is also important that your childcare providers know what your internet rules are as well.
Kids and Facebook: Don't Facebook and other sites have tools for protecting kids?
Often websites come under scrutiny for not doing enough to protect children. We have all heard stories about kids meeting child predators online, kids being bullied online by their peers and teens posting sexually explicit images of themselves online. There are a few legal statutes in place, such as COPPA, the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act. This protection act requires that websites cannot collect information from anyone under 13. However, it is difficult to enforce. Some kids will just click "yes" to signify they are over 13 and create a Facebook or Twitter account. Just as some teens might be tempted to click that they are over 18 to view adult content. Once again, it falls back on the parents to have instilled in their children the ability to make good decisions well before they face that decision. Studies have shown that high-risk teen behavior is more common in families where teens feel like they are not respected or supported as an individual. Even though some subjects may be difficult to discuss, if you speak to your child logically and with respect they will be more receptive.
Parental Filters: What about monitoring or parental control software?
This type of software can be extremely useful for helping you manage what your child does online when you are away. Although some parents use monitoring software to spy on their children's internet activity, the general consensus is that you should tell your children that you can see what they are doing on your computer rather than hide it from them and compromise your trust. Parental controls that are included in an internet security suite are the best option since a suite also includes full internet protection. These tools can restrict what types of websites your kids can visit as well as how long and when they can be online. You can even block them from sharing specific information online such as phone numbers, addresses, credit card numbers and SSNs. You can also restrict them from file sharing and block/allow specific URLs. Additionally, you can install software to offer similar protection onto their mobile devices.
In the digital age, often a large part of the village that helps shape who our children will become is not aunties or elders but entertainment, advertisers and online peers. This may be an uncomfortable fact. Though statistics vary, many report that kids, especially tweens, are interacting with media up to seven hours per day. If they are not in school or asleep, they are online, texting, playing a game, listening to music or watching a video. I doubt many parents can say they have seven hours per day to spend with their teenager. Combating the aggressive media barrage your kids experience is not a Lazy-Boy exercise, it is a running shoes, full-cup-of-coffee activity. It takes aggressive, proactive parenting to help your child make good media choices and maintain safe, appropriate interactions. So, forget your past mistakes, educate yourself and help your kids be safe online.
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